Welcome Readers
We are starting this site in response to the excellent reception received by Drew Bledsoe’s blog. However, this won’t be a platform for us bitching out the people who are starting ahead of us, since all three of us are the best players on our respective teams. Don’t worry, Drew, I’m sure you’ll get your job back eventually. It is an exciting time here in the District, now that my team is back in season (and I also beat my arrest rap from this summer). Last week, we rolled out our new gold alternate jerseys, giving me an excuse to double my current jersey collection to 500. We open this Wednesday at Cleveland, and I’ve got a little something planned for LeBron before the game. Stay tuned.
Posted by Agent ZERO @ 5:15 AM
Your job’s your credit
We had a bye yesterday. This gave me a lot of time to think up some new characters for the season, which is probably going to be the highlight of our season at this point. I’ve been talking to Joe every day about starting my boy Todd Collins instead of that idiot Brunell. Me and Sean Taylor had a plan to get rid of him permanently this summer. We set him up to star in one of our Eastern Motors Training Camp commercial, and then have LaVar tackle him from behind into a pickup truck. It was the perfect plan, but he cancelled the day before to go to some Bible Convention.
Posted by Sherriff Gonna Getcha @ 4:30 PM
Hello Friend
I am very honored to be writing on internet weblog. Thanks Gilbert and Clinton for giving me very amazing chance to practice my English. I learned this language as young boy in Moscow by listening to Yakov Smirnov tapes, so please excuse me if I sound like him. As you know, I am a super-class hockey player for the Washington Capitols. This season I have many teammate who actually score goals. What a country! Tonight I am in Calgary to play Flames. I do not understand your North American team nicknames. In Soviet Russia, team names you. Seriously. My name used to be Arkadiy Arkadov. What a country!
Posted by Alexander the Great @ 6:11 PM
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
I am hilarious
So tonight we were in Cleveland to play the Cavs and LeBron, who beat us in the playoffs last year because LeBron paid the officials $50 before each game and gave them starring roles in the new “The LeBrons” Nike ads. This had been eating at me all summer, so I hatched a plan to get revenge. Before the game, I snuck into the Cavs’ locker room, stole Bron Bron’s new Zoom LeBron III shoes and replaced them with my Adidas Gil Zeros. My old teammate Larry Hughes gave me the code to the locker room, and he lent me a Cavs warm-up jersey so I could blend in. Yes I’ve been planning this for awhile. After I switched the shoes, I went to the local Boys and Girls Club and donated them to the first kid I saw. He was really happy. I also gave him LeBron’s watch. Too bad we lost, since I missed the first half of the game.
Posted by Agent ZERO @ 11:37 PM
We’re talking practice
It’s Wednesday, which means Coach Saunders give us the game plan for this weekend’s pivotal game against our hated rival, the Cowboys. I’ve been looking forward to this game for the past two weeks because if we lose, that means I can check out for the rest of the season. People have been talking about Coach’s supposed 700-page playbook all season, and frankly it’s all pretty stupid. Sure, Mr. Snyder cut down an entire forest on his property, but it was to get a better view of the Potomac. If you want the truth, we don’t even have a playbook. Brunell just shouts out patterns at the line and then taps his helmet twice if we’re going to run. Gotta run, I’m about to go to my favorite nightclub in DC, Fur.
Posted by Reverend Gonna Change @ 11:53 PM
Hello again Friend
We had great victory over Calgary on Monday. I scored two assists. Hoora! Comrade Semin is scoring many goal this year. It is good to have fellow Russian on team because he understand all my jokes, like the one about prostitute from Vladivostok. He laugh many times. We opened new rink in Arlington for many practice sessions. I am excited to go to Coldstone Creamery and get large ice cream sundae. In Soviet Russia, stone colds you!
Posted by Alexander the Great @ 11:59 PM
Friday, November 03, 2006
I continue to amuse myself
Tomorrow is our home opener against the Celtics and we will be raising a new banner to the rafters of the Verizon Center. No, not another Mystics League Attendance Record banner. This one just has the number zero. My idea. As you know, I am donating $100 to a different local school for each point I score at home this season. Just a heads up for those of you who have me on your fantasy team: don’t start me on the road. I’m going to put up at least 60 points at home, but on the road, I’m going to need to take a break. It’s for the kids. Yesterday at practice I switched all the new fake leather balls with the old real leather ones we used last season. You should have seen everyone’s faces when I told them. They were not happy.
Posted by Agent ZERO @ 3:46 PM
Veinte Y Seis
People are always making a big deal about the so-called crazy antics of the wide receivers in the league. Oh, Chad Johnson said something at a press conference and didn’t back it up during the game! Let’s all pay attention to him. And don’t get me started on TO. Falling asleep in meetings! Oh, what a bad ass. Everyone does that. I’m in a meeting right now while I’m writing this, instead of listening to Coach Saunders explain how many helmet taps is an off tackle play. I think it’s three.
Posted by Kid Bro Sweets @ 5:15 PM
Greetings Friend
I am very excited about the game tonight. Kaptain Chris Clark told me that bare naked ladies are singing American anthem. What a country! I have not seen woman naked since vacation in Amsterdam last summer. Russian women also good looking. I have many offers from Russian brides but I am not ready to settle down. I am still enjoying crazy bachelor lifestyle here in District of Columbia. Tonight after the game, I will go to Reef in Adam Morgans with Comrade Kovalchuk. He is big fan of fish. In Adams Morgan, beer drinks you!
Posted by Alexander the Great @ 6:44 PM
